Sift It, See It, Swig It, Say It, Salted...

'I see…I think.'

'Heavens, Pooh, it's quite straightforward. Top security for our Wood in just five words, Tigger says.'

'Just go through it again, Piglet.'

'Anything you see that looks amiss, you just say the magic…oh, you know, like when you repeat a spell over and over.'

'Decanter.'

'Decanter, exactly.'

'See It, Say It, Sorted.'

'Bravo, Pooh. You've hit the Nile at the flood.'

'Suppose you weren't ready.'

'Weren't ready?'

'I mean, there you are, having a leisurely cup of tea, you look out the window, you sense that something's wrong--'

'Oh, well, then it would have to be Sip It, Sense It, See It, Say It, Sorted.'

'Or if it was a really leisurely cuppa, I suppose it would have to be Sip It, Swish it, Sense It, See It, Say It, Sorted.'

'Pooh, you really don't have to overthink--'

'And if the urgency of the situation overwhelmed you all at once, it would have to be Sip It, Swish It, Sense It, See It, Swig It, Say It, Sorted.'

'Actually, I think we can just stick with Tigger's five words, Pooh--'

'Or you might be in the middle of preparing a cake when you spot whatever's up--'

'Pooh--'

'I mean, still with your trusty cuppa--'

'All Tigger said--'

'Sift It, Sip It, Sense It, See It, Swig It, Say It, Sorted.'

'I wish I'd never--'

'Not to mention Christmas variations.'

'So don't, Pooh--'

'Old Santa Claus, he's a busy man, you know, shooting hither and yon up there in the filament, some of the presents are bound to fall to earth while he's urging on Plaster and Blister and Dimsum and all. So if one falls at your feet, what can you do but drag out the old toboggan and help him?'

'Tell you what, Pooh, leave it to the rest of us to--'

'See It, Sleigh It, Sorted. Nice ring, that.'

'Pooh, let's be silent, eh? Let's practise minefieldness.'

'So there you are, leisurely cuppa, cake on the go, present falls past your window, out with the toboggan, present delivered, back home, whimsical afterthought of adding some savoury to the mix--'

'I wonder if the Foreign Legion is still recruiting--'

'Sip it, Sift It, Swish It, Sense It, See It, Swig It, Sleigh It, Salted, Sorted.'

'Pooh, for the love of--'

'And as for old George squaring up to the Dragon, with tea to drink and a cake to bake and a toboggan to fettle and a pressie to reroute and a bit of savouriness to chuck in--'

'Mum! Mum!'