Dongledangle

 

'The problem with you, Piglet, is you've got no gumption.'

'Pooh, all I'm saying is that it's unworkable.'

'Of course it's workable. Look...all we need...big cushion against the seat...you up on my shoulders so you can reach the steering wheel...me in my winter galoshes to reach the pedals...extendable arm on your left trotter so you can do the gears...and Hey Pasta! Solution! One less lorry standing idle.'

'I doubt that we'd be allowed--'

'Piglet, they're crying out. We'd be doing our bit to rescue the nation...you know...our paleolithic duty.'

'Really, Pooh--'

'We'd turn up at Swansea, you on my shoulders, extra long coat, chappie says "Congratulations, young man, here's your matriculated lorry licence, go forth and truck" - result!'

'They'd figure out that there were two of us.'

'I'd hold you steady. And you could wear a balaclava. That would--'

'So someone turning up in a balaclava asking to be let loose on the roads...that wouldn't arouse any kind of---?'

'Your problem, Piglet, is that the bigger picture constantly eludes you. Think of the benefits. Travelling the world. Seeing how Maersk is spelt in a hundred languages.'

'I rather think you'd find it's still Maer--'

'Taking our place on the pantechnicon of haulage greats. You know, Norbert Dongledangle...'

'Er, Dentressang--'

'R T H Lubbers. Scared of water, they are...great opportunity to poach business from them, though, global-solution-logistics-wise.'

'I think R T H Lubbers is quite happy to sail on--'

'Prestons of Potto. Word is they're actually Potters of Preston but the sign-writer got all squiffy on the paint fumes...by which time it was too late.'

'Actually, Pooh, Potto is in North York--'

'And who knows where we might go from there? Like that chap who built up his fleet and then made it big in Hollywood.'

'For the last time, Pooh, you're confusing--'

'Humphrey Stobart. Terrific, he was, in "Doverblanca". Means "white cliffs", you know. Epic lines. "Sign it again, Sam...here's flashing me docket at you, kid...round up the usual sprockets." Immortal.'

'Pooh--'

'Just imagine, Piglet. Sunrise over the Hook of Holland. The smell of dockside containers in the morning--'

'Pooh--'

'Like victory, you know. Which we'd be helping to ensure. I can see it now--'

'Unlike one of Rabbit's larger holes, which you're about to fall into.'

'Pooh 'N' Pig--Provisioning the Planet. Big gold letters in--Aarrrgghh!'

'Told you.'