'Stan Wesley Ogden'

 

'Are you sure, Pooh?'

'Absolutely.  Tigger confirmed it.'

'Pooh, think carefully about those two words.  Tigger.  Confirmed.'

'No, this time he's actually got something right.'

'Really?'

'Really.'

'So.  Bob Dylan?'

'Yes.'

'Coronation Street?'

'Yes.'

'Big fan?'

'Yes.  And he's appearing in it.'

'Really?'

'Really.  He's writing a script for an hour-long episode.'

'About what?'

'It dallies with Weatherfield mythology and gender-fluidity concepts.'

'Dallies, indeed.  Well I never.'

'Oh yes.  Bob himself travels through time and bursts into the Rovers Return as an alt-Elsie Tanner.'

'To do what?'

'Settle an ancient score about a contested hairnet with an alt-Ena Sharples.'

'Also played by him?'

'No, by that...oh, what's her name?  Played Hayley Cropper.  Julie--'

'Ah, Julie Hesmondjesmondosmondmarcalmondhalgh.'

'That's the one.'

'Well...fancy.'

'Written a whole album of new songs, Bob has, to go with his episode.'

'Called?'

'"Stan Wesley Ogden".  Well, I say "new".  Some of them are reworkings of his hits.'

'I see.'

'Yes.  "Lay, Petal, Lay", "Stuck Inside of Stockport With The Cheadle Blues Again", "All Along The Foot Of Our Stairs", "Just Like A Barlow"...and...erm....'

'Erm?'

'"Pissing In The Wind".'

'Good grief!'

'Bob's word, not mine.'

'So how does that one go?'

'"How many pints
Must our kid put away
Before yon cops

Mark his card?"'

'Catchy.'

'And if it's a success he'll take the whole concept on tour.'

'Will he, now?'

'Oh, yes.  The Rolling Gail Platt Revue.'

'Gracious!  And will Miss Platt mind being rolled?'

'Oh, now, Piglet...steady on.'