By the Rivers of Babycham

 

'Nearly done, Piglet.'

'Sorry, Pooh, what's this now?'

'My contribution to Kanga's Advent Singalong.'

'Oh…right.'

'No doubt you're eager - '

'Not if you're - '

'Not at all, my porcine camarade.'

'Oh…right.'

'This year I've opted for a variation on 'Lech Wałęsa's Lass Looked Out.'

'I think it's 'Good' - '

'Even before you've heard it?  A ringing endorsement and no mistake.  I'll remember you in my prayers.'

'I thought you were agnostic.'

'No, Piglet, she was the blonde one in Abba.  Now, here goes:

Hither, Page, and stand by me
Bring the drink and nosh-o,
You are but a noxious oik,
I'm a toothsome posh-o,
Let us find some random pez,
Fete him one night only,
Salve our conscience for the year,
Leave him lost and loneleeeee.

Well?  Doesn't it capture the essence of the nub of the crux?'

'Er…'

'Oh, come on, Piglet, it's right up there with the best celebratory hums - O Weep All Ye Fateful, O Little Town of Bethnal Green, By the Rivers of Babycham - the lot!'

'I don't think By the Riv - '

'No, well, you wouldn't.  Anyway, what are you contributing?'

'I might try 4'33" by that Mr Cage.'

'Let's hear it, then.'

'It's my extended variation.'

'How extended?'

'To the end of this walk.'