Barry Scott, Scott Joplin and the Big Clean

'Piglet?'

'Hmm?'

'What exactly is that "Clean for the Queen" thing they're going on about out there?'

'Ah, big campaign.'

'Is that so?'

'Yes. Everyone is being encouraged to go on a huge litter-pick and tidying drive to get where they live all spick and span for her birthday.'

'Remind me, when is that?'

'Tigger reckons it's started already.'

'And when will it end?'

'I hear the tone of your words, Pooh.'

'So they've all got to get cracking?'

'Yes. Big play being made to primary schools, Tigger says. Get them involved, make it a fun project.'

'I see. Like getting them to design logos.'

'For nothing, yes. Tigger says it saves a mountain in design company fees.'

'I think Owl calls it faux-democracy.'

'Well, he loves a bit of Icelandic.'

'And when they've done all the tidying? I mean, what does she do in return?'

'In return?'

'Yes.'

'You don't get the hang of how their country works, do you, Pooh?'

'Well…never really wanted to.'

'She might ask them some questions.'

'Oh, yes?'

'Possibly. "Have you scrubbed far?" That sort of thing.'

'I see.'

'Or "Are you related to Barry Scott?"'

'Who's Barry Scott?'

'Oh, Pooh. The Cillit-Bang Man.'

'Ah, of course. The one who walked out in all that snow: "I'm going to tackle the toilet rim and I may be quite some time".'

'Spot on, Pooh.'

'As Mr Scott would say. Although…'

'Although?'

'Eeyore said that he'd seen him on TV, doing a wildlife show from years and years ago.'

'No, Pooh, that would be Scott Joplin. Used to play piano between the items with one of those brightly coloured birds on his shoulder.'

'A Parapet?'

'I'm confidently not sure.'

'…and when he wasn't playing piano, Eeyore said, he sang the blues dressed up as woman in a tee-shirt saying "I Heart Port Arthur, Texas."'

'No, no, Pooh, that's Janis Scott.'

'Ah…Barry Scott's wife?'

'Or mum.'