I've stood me stand.

'I'm sorry, Piglet, it doesn't make sense--'

'--it does, Pooh, if you'd--'

'--and I simply can't join in with any old nonsense at Kanga's carol-service--'

'--Pooh, it's just a shorter way of saying--'

'Victim of incompetence, that's what that cattle-shed was.'

'Pooh, it means that once upon a time, in Royal David's city--'

'I wonder how it got there? Must have played merry hell with its joists.'

'Pooh, it means that there once stood a lowly cattle-shed in Royal--'

'Oh, yes, stood is right, probably all winded and buckled, having been fed misinformation.'

'Look, there's no suggestion that it was ever anywhere else.'

'Once, Piglet. It says, once in Royal David's city. Which is to say, as soon as it got there.'

'Pooh--'

'Probably been given a right royal soft soap, poor old thing. Oh, yes, come along, annual Cattle-Shed convention, meet all your mates from all over, exhibitions galore, new breakthroughs in shed-stance, sign up for our Lowliness Profiling--'

'If you'd just--'

'Lunch provided.'

'Pooh, it means once upon a--'

'David hisself might drop in.'

'Please, Pooh--'

'So it gets all its laths and rafters over there, you know, looking out for a guide with one of those placards,"Meeting Point, Out-of-Town and Overseas Cattle-Sheds, A Warm, Woody Welcome." Nothing. Hangs about, asks a passing wheelbarrow, sorry, mate, never heard of it--'

'Pooh--'

'Though there's a Gazebo-fest on in the next street, you could tag along with them.'

'If you'll just let me--'

'Here, now we're chatting, my sheddy friend, any WD40 on you?'

'It means that once upon--'

'Oh, right, well, how about a dollop of corn-oil?'

'It was always there, Pooh. It never--'

'So what does the poor hoodwinked shed do? What can it do? Stand for a bit. And just the once. Then, quite rightly, it says to itself, you know, flip this for a game of dry-rot, I've stood me stand, it's a long way home, seen one royal David you've seen them all, I'm off.'

'All right, Pooh. All right. Well, how about "Ding-Dong Merrily On High"?.

'What? A song about a pub brawl at eighty thousand feet?'

'Just a thought.'