The One With The Ninny

'News just in, Pooh.'

'Very now?'

'Yes.'

'Instamatically now?'

'Pooh, he's been spotted all over the news.'

'Spotted? What is this? Huw Edwards Love-a-Leopard Day?'

'No...him!'

'I knew it! The fruits of keeping the faith, Piglet. Did they get him to sing "Heartbreak Hotel"?'

'No, no, no.'

'Ah, he's tired of it. Well, can't blame him. Quick chorus of "Rock-a-Hula-Baby", then?'

'Pooh, listen. He's gone quiet for weeks and weeks. Not a peep. Totally incommuniavocado. And now this Perrycomovirus has surfaced, so has he.'

'Who?'

'The one who always goes canvassing with his Ninny.'

'Not Jacob Rice-Davies?'

'The same. Bet you'll never see him and the virus in the same room together.'

'So when was this?'

Spotted yesterday rushing through an ever-so-important door yelling "Wash your hands".'

'Well that's sound advice.'

'Except that once he was through the door he added "Not that I care. We've got your votes now, you oiky fools".'

'Well he would, wouldn't he?'