Thursday 9 November 2023
Sunday 8 October 2023
'Pooh, I was wondering -'
Tuesday 3 October 2023
'Well, Pooh, it's all go....'
Friday 22 September 2023
Tuesday 19 September 2023
'Well he says it's looking tatty.'
'Sorry, Pooh, who says what is?'
'Tigger. The Wood. Needs tidying up.'
'Leaves falling. Dank grass. Unruly undergrope.'
'Well it is autumn.'
'Exactly. Yes, I know poets go a bundle on it. Season of mellow yellow frootloops and all that. But heavens above, autumn comes round every year. It's had enough chances to sort itself out.'
'But this is what autumn is.'
'Oh, I've heard all the guff, Piglet. Part of the eternal wossname.'
'Yes, with autumn comes decay, with spring comes - '
'Is that the word? They missed a trick this year.'
'Yes, well, let's not go into all that. Point is, Tigger wants us to help spruce the Wood up.'
'Because we know the place inside out. Who better? We're natives of this heath. You know, like the characters in those Stan Hardy novels. Jude the Oblong. Tess of the Doobeedoos.'
'Well I like autumn the way it is. I think we should just - '
'Oh, come on, Piglet, where's your pluck? Think of it...you, me, Tigger, venturing forth. The Wood's answer to those French buckle-swashers.'
'I think you mean - '
'Attlee, Portnoy and Amethyst.'
'It's actually - '
'The Three Elonmusks. Hacking and pruning, delving and dredging. Can't remember the last time I had a proper delve.'
'I think we should leave autumn just as Mr Keats says, "Drows'd with the fume of poppies".'
'You see? Drug abuse and all.'
'Pooh, it means - '
'Fat lot you care. Another day, another hoodie. Let the neighbourhood go to raac and crumble.'
'But if we cut everything back, where would you hide your winter supply of hunny?'
Saturday 8 July 2023
'Another lovely evening.'
'Indeed. Especially when you consider the significance of evening as a dividing line between the pressures and busyness of the day and the period of calm, rest and reflection that is night-time.'
'Further, the special properties of evening have been celebrated in works as diverse as William Collins's "Ode To Evening", a lyric with wistful overtones of the pastoral, first published in 1746, and "When The Deep Purple Falls", a song in the light romantic vein popularised by Nino Tempo and April Stevens in 1963.'
'All I said was -- '
'And what better place in which to appreciate evening than this, our very own Wood -- '
'Pooh, what are you -- ?'
' -- referring, of course, to a certain acreage of land which, while often expansive enough in itself, does not cover the same quantity of ground as would normally be associated with a forest -- '
'I have no idea why -- '
' -- but which can often make up for its smaller or more compact or indeed bijou size by offering a delightful mixture of deciduous trees, deciduous meaning "to shed" or "to fall off", as evidenced by such as the oak or the beech or indeed the maple, this last being the national tree or growth or super-sized pot plant of Canada -- '
'Now just wait a min -- '
' -- and evergreen trees, such as box, holly and juniper, this last happily lending itself to the title of a song written and popularised by Donovan, a troubadour born in 1946 in the Maryhill district of Glasgow.'
'Pooh, what is all this?'
'Being a line from a track on "The Move", debut album by the band or combo or indeed massive of that very same name, released in April 1968, the track itself being called "Weekend" and the line in full being "Holy mackerel, yeah, what is all this?"'
'Pooh!! Why are you talking this way?'
'No A-I. Artificial Interloper. Wonderful. All you have to do is feed in key words and it generates conversation endlessly. Terrific, the site I've found.'
'Yes, well, I think I've heard enough -- so that'll do.'
'A song popularised by Peter Gabriel though in fact penned by Randy Newman, Gabriel's version having been released in 1998. With its haunting refrain, "That'll do, babe, that'll do", the song celebrates the beauties of a kind and steady heart, which ensured its status as a firm favourite among such radio presenters as Terry Wogan, born in 1938 in Limerick, a major city in the Repub -- '
'Being the cry or outburst or eruption by vanquished foes in such graphic publications as Fleetwood Comics, whose titles include "Commandos Die Hard", "Tank Alert" and "Ravens Over Berlin", and usually uttered in response to such directives as "Die, Pig Dog!" or "Sayonara, Bub!"
'And Sayonara to you, too, Pooh.'
'"You, too, Pooh" being of course a delightful example of assonance, as in "bright, white light" -- oh, Piglet, don't go.'
'I absolutely have to go -- right now.'
'Being the first sizeable hit for The Moody Blues, a group or cohort or indeed clump formed in May 1964 in Birming....'
Tuesday 2 May 2023
'Are you sure, Pooh?'
'It's what I've heard, Piglet.'
'It all sounds very complicated.'
'Question of timing, apparently. Tight schedule. The Eurovision finals are on the 13th and His Royal Highhorse's ceremony is on the 6th.'
'I'm not sure it's Highhorse, Pooh.'
'Are you sure you're not sure?'
'I'm cert--well, anyway...so he's being allowed a late entry for Eurovision?'
'A gift from the world, it seems.'
'And he'll be--'
'Singing it halfway through his ceremony, yes.'
'What's it called?'
'And the nation has a part to play.'
'Does it, now?'
'Yes, there's a rap bit where they all have to cry out in unison.'
'Yes--swearing allegiance to the country's core values.'
'In order of resonance, fidelity, union, community, kinship--then quick pause for breath--then obedience, fairness and fortitude.'
'I see. And that's tout ensemble?'
'Ooh, Piglet, nifty bit of French, eh?'
'I have a smattering, Pooh. Plume de ma tante. Bonjour, concierge. Guillotine.'
'Well, yes, tout ensemble. And they'll be required to yell the values twice. Mind you, the tempo picks up at the end, I'm told, so it might just be the initials. No decision on that yet.'
'It all sounds--quite something.'
'It will be. Celebrities rapping along with your everyday folk--one of whom has been chosen at random to officiate.'
'That's nice. Who is it?'
'Well, it was going to be Louise of Cannock, but she'll be at a hen do in Antwerp, so it's Dean of Westminster.'
'Oh, it'll be fancy, all right. All the stars out in force.'
'A celebration in the grand tradition.'
'Roman tradition, you might almost say, Piglet. Bread and sinuses.'
'I suppose Mr Titchmarsh will be of the starry number.'
'Should be...unless he's detained.'
'Having to coddle his spuds.'
'Ah, well, not an activity for shared space.'
'It might provoke comment.'