Monday, 8 October 2018

Of which we know whatnot...

'Pooh, I was wondering -'
'Shhh, Piglet.'
'Why?  What's happening?'
'Let us betake ourselves unto the zone.'
'What zone? Oh, don't tell me someone's slung up an installation right here in -'
'Silence, Piglet.  Silence. Tigger says it's essential to mediate.  You know, let your mind go plonk.'
'Why should we do that?'
'Words, Piglet.  Tigger says that sometimes they can be swords when they should be fraushoes.'
'It's that honey, isn't it?  Moment I saw "Produce of Colombia" I just knew--'
'That whereof of which we know whatnot, thereof let us know not it.'
'So…if you don't know something you shouldn't talk about it?'
'When's that stopped Tigger?'
'For it is written, Piglet: let your yea be yea and your shush be shush.'
'Biblical, is that?'
'Oh, Piglet, Piglet.  Jimmy Cliff.  1968. Top tune.'
'I think he might have got it from -'
'He sang about the White Cliffs of Dover, you know.  Just like Miss Lynn.'
'I don't think Mr Cliff had quite the same experience of Dover as -'
'Your mind, Piglet, your mind is like unto the sky.'
'What's this "like unto" business?'
'Your thoughts are like clouds, Piglet, having a proper old scud.  Happy thoughts.  Airy thoughts. Then, all of a sudden, sad thoughts.  Not all that very nice thoughts.'
'No, Pooh, that's minefieldness.'
'Not mediation?'
'You mediate between things.'
'Ah.  Like the devil and the old brown cow?'
'Deep blue sea, Pooh.'
'Oh, code now, is it?  Well, purple sparrow to you.'
'No, it's a saying that -'
'Sorry, Piglet, I'm in the zone.  Ow…ow…'
'Oum, Pooh.'

Wednesday, 3 October 2018

Not Maudlin

'Yes, Pooh.'
'Is it Kavenarr or Kavenaww?'
'I rather think it's Shrowsbury.'
'Ah.  So not Sconn.'
'Oh no.  Though possibly Soulihull.'
'Or Lemster?'
'On high days and holidays, I should think.'
'But not Maudlin.'
'As in College? Oh, no.'
'I've always wondered what Maudlin College is.'
'A slightly more stoical Heartbreak Hotel, Owl says.'
'Oh, I see.  Piglet?'
'How exactly do you pronounce Cholmodeleybelvoirfeatherstonhaugh?'
'Gosh.  Needs an extra-long cheque book, though.'
'Oh, they never carry anything like money, Pooh.'
'Well…extra case for the syllables.'
'Or luggage.'
'So how do they manage?'
'Owl says they just call out"You there, zero-hours giggy chappie, haul these, will you?"'
'Gosh.  It's a wonderful world, Piglet.'
'Red roses too.'