Saturday 1 October 2016

'There must be a cream for that.'

'Well, Pooh, it's all happening.'
'Thank goodness for that. What is?'
'The BBC's commitment to supporting National Pottery Day.'
'Oh…good.'
'Tigger says more presenters are lining up to re-vision poems which are old and therefore by definition useless.'
'Re-vision?'
'An ancient phrase, he says. It's Old Orthopaedic for have another butcher's.'
'Fancy. So who's re-visioning now?'
'A couple from Long Lost Motorway Cops are doing John Clare's senate, "I am, yet what I am none cares or knows".'
'Senate?'
'Special sort of poem, Pooh. All the words have to sit in rows according to power and function.'
'Ah, yes…like that "Shall I compost thee in the summer hay".'
'The very example I was about to give, Pooh.'
'So did it go all right, then? Their butchering of "I am what I am"? Always thought that was Popeye.'
'"I am, yet what I am none cares or knows," Pooh. Well, there were some teething troubles.'
'Oh, dear.'
'Yes, one of them thought John Clare was the other one's new stylist.'
'Ah, it happens. Let's hear the butchering, then.'
'"I so am but wtf I so am totes nobody gives a monkey's".'
'It has a certain….'
'Plangent yearning, Tigger says.'
'There must be a cream for that.'
'Several, I should think.'

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