"This is my best side...."

 

'Shame about the stream.'

'Sorry, Piglet'?

'By Eeyore's field. Pretty well dammed up after the rains. Set to burst its banks.'

'Oh, dear.'

'Still, Tigger's on the case.'

'I'm glad to hear it. Very probiotic, Tigger.'

'Proactive.'

'Well, yes, if he has time left over. I'm sure the first thing he'll do is get everyone together--'

'No.'

'No?'

'No.'

'Second thing, then?'

'If that.'

'So what's the first thing?'

'Fly to Ukraine for a photo-op with Mr Zelensky.'

'I see.'

'Tigger says it's the only way to deal with issues whose parameters are own-doorstep-facing.'

'He does realise that he says these things out loud?'

'Occasionally.'

'Actually, I've noticed a bit of a split in the grain round my front door.'

'A bit of a split?'

'A bit of a split.'

'Well, Pooh, you know what to do.'

'Plane?'

'Yes.'

'Up and away'?

'Yes.'

'"Hello Zel...this is my best side"?'

'Yes.'

'"I was meant to meet some chaps in the north of England but I can't for the life of me place where that is"?'

'Yes.'

'"By the way, have you got any wood-filler knocking about"?'

'You won't need it.'

'No?'

'Whole point of the photo-op. The moment they start snapping, your bit of a split will go away.'

'Goodness.'

'You can focus on post-split priorities moving on-wise.'

'Tigger again?'

'Sadly, yes.'

'Well, that's all a big relief.'

'Exactly what Kanga found.'

'Kanga?'

'Problems with an unruly coppice.'

'So she's--'

'Seven miles over Magdeburg as we speak.'